The White People Premium (WPP) is an economic phenomenon that appears to be a unique trait of the Caucasian race. This effect causes white people to pay ridiculously high prices for items of relatively low value.
By JR Lyles
These products can demand a higher price by including one or more of the following key words in your marketing literature, putting the phenomenon into motion:
Green: because there no sense doing something good for the planet if nobody else knows about it
Vintage: it’s really saying something when you will pay more for something new that looks like it’s old
Retro: This means that it somebody recreated something that went out of style years ago, except now it’s more expensive because the hipness factor
i: Pretty much any new shiny gadget, no matter how useless, will sell incredibly if it’s got a lower case “i” in front if it and the Apple logo plastered in plain view.
Scroll on ahead to see some of the examples.
Say you have $10,000 burning a hole in your checking account and you’ve got nothing else to spend it on. You’re only requirement is that you spend in a way that EVERYBODY can see what you bought. How about jewelry? You could be like those rappers you see on TV! They seem to be rather happy and popular. Or you could go to a club (strip variety or otherwise) and spend all that money on your closest friends, and even make a few new ones. But really, is there a wrong way to spend that money? What’s probably the WORST thing you could spend it on?
Segway
How about an overpriced scooter that will make you look like a complete moron? Yes, the Segway is the best way to spend $10,000 in one sitting and GUARANTEE that you will not get any action as a result. You can, however, throw the fact that you are travelling in a green fashion in the faces of those who mock you.
Lip Couch
Look at this thing. It’s absolutely hideous. It looks like it came right of a 70′s dating show. And for a mere $1,250, it could be yours! What could possibly be going through the minds of a consumer who considers putting this thing in the middle of their living room?
I suspect the main reason is clever marketing. When you try to think of this situation from an economic point of view, it really doesn’t make any sense. The laws of supply and demand would dictate that would never be enough people in the world who would want this thing to warrant such a high price. But if you market it right, you can demand a large sum of money for this atrocity. However, this hits the “retro” keyword, and for some reason beyond my comprehension, it justifies its price.
Wall mounted Towel Warmer
You really have to appreciate the balls that this company has in marketing this thing. Everything that this gadget claims to do is done pretty much for free by stuff you probably already have in your own bathroom.
Let’s break it down:
“Not only does it heat the entire bathroom, but it will also warm your towels and help them dry faster, eliminating excess humidity, mildew, and mold.”
This effect of a “warm bathroom” could be achieved by, say, taking a warm shower. This warm shower can be achieved with a water heater and the water that comes right out of the faucet. Or if you could just use the central heating that probably came with your house.
“This plug-in, wall-mounted heater works silently in a quarter of the time required for most heaters and uses only one hour of power for every four hours of operation”
DING DING DING! There’s that “green” word that drives white people crazy. Even though this is a large waste of money and a shameless show of opulence, we still need to think about the environment. By the way, this probably added about $200 to the price, just for mentioning it.
“Best of all, you’ll eliminate the need for an ugly wall heater, replacing it with a work of art!”
Because we are all tired of our ugly old wall mounted bathroom towel warmers. Wait, do people actually have heaters in every room in their house?
iPad
Remember that shiny, expensive electronic device you bought back in 2007? Then you bought the newer, shinier version 2008? And then again in 2009? Remember how cool and novel it was? It was like a tiny computer! And you could buy all kinds of useless apps which entertained your friends for all of 12 seconds, like one that makes lightsaber sounds, or flipped a coin for you? All that utility, AND it was a phone! Wasn’t it great to have all that in a device that could fit in your pocket?
Well, how about making it too big to fit in your pocket, and then taking away the phone feature? Still interested? You really shouldn’t be, but 375,000 people were when the Apple iPad debuted on April 3, 2010. This device has up to 64GB of hard drive space, making it less useful than a netbook. However, the iPad does have accessories to waste even more of your money on. Nothing like dressing up your useless piece of crap with bright pieces of latex and vinyl to “personalize” it.